I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
