Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
