3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
