Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
