His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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