New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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