shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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