You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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