He had one of those small greek statue penises
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
