she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
