I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
