he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
