i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
