oh god the rape fog is back!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
