i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
