Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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