oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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