is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
