That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
