Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
