I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
