Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
