I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
