He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize
