how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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