I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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