I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
