When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
is it fun? or sober?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
