Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
