do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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