i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
