I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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