As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
