fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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