I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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