Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
