Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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