not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
