hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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