he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
