It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
