Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She's JV to your varsity
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
