My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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