So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
