there was a trapeze. enough said
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
