Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
