It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
