everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
