Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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