Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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