she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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