The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Randomize
