Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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