The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
