So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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