I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
