I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
