SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
